Derren Brown, illusionist, has realised that his parents are growing older ? well done Derren ? and that old people have "richer stories to tell". Now aware of our potential, he's going to train four of us to steal a painting from a London gallery. He could have chosen youngsters, but he wants to help elderly people by "making a point" about our "invisibility". It's not a bad idea, even though he has dredged up the same dreary old stereotype. Four drab old farts creeping round a gallery probably won't look suspicious. Yet we're quite capable of flouting the law and dressing like peacocks without help.

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